1. When you find you’re comfortable enough with someone to open up about those parts of yourself that you’d normally be a little afraid to reveal – the insecurities, desires, dreams you hold inside yourself, and that you’re afraid of being mocked or criticized for. And then they react in a safe, supportive manner.
2. When you give them a hug and it gives you the chills.
When you get nervous every time you see them smile because you don’t want to do anything to ruin it.
When you’re talking to them and you can tell that they’re nervous, and using the same body mannerisms as you — it means you’re on the same page.
3. When they go the whole date with our touching their phone.
4. If either person does something ridiculously embarrassing and the other person laughs. I guess there are situations where someone is literally laughing at you, but usually if you laugh fart or spit food trying to talk and someone laughs at you it’s because they like you, not making fun of you. If they laugh and walk out, yeah, that’s a different situation, but if you’re having a good time and do something embarrassing and the other person laughs that’s a good sign you’re on the same page.
5. Something goes wrong/not their way and they respond like a reasonable person and just keep it moving. For example if you don’t want a lift back home or their order is wrong.
6. Genuine laughter. I have anxiety and a lot of involuntary quirks, sometimes my defense mechanism for that is to break out my dry sense of humor. I can usually tell if someone is laughing because she’s trying to be polite or laughing because she genuinely finds me funny.
7. Being able to communicate feelings without placing blame is another huge one. If your SO can handle conflict by staying calm, band communicating their needs without placing blame, then you’ve got a keeper.
Also, when they verbally say “I really like you, and I’d love to go on a second date.”
8. When she cracks a “stupid” joke that you think is super funny but would not have told on a first date.
Nothing sexier than a girl who’s comfortable with herself and doesn’t stick to “good girl” attitude just to fit in.
9. When they are kind to animals and people in the service industry – ESPECIALLY if they don’t know you’re watching them.
10. When you get to the point that you run out of ideas on stuff to do but you both want to keep the date going so you end up just aimlessly wandering around
11. She seems genuinely curious about you. Asks about your life and your past etc. Instead of just talking about herself.
12. Some people you meet in life, there’s something about them…you know they are ‘green’. It’s rare. But you can get a feeling about people in a good way, if you let your own defensive guard down (a bit). There’s a lot to be said in observing how someone treats the waiter, how they describe their lives/career/family. You can’t always put your finger on it – sometimes theres a warmth about the person. At the end of the day, we are all going on dates and hoping that this person is a good person – and the types of cues we pick up apply to any person we meet in life, not just a date. I think we should be mindful of this and take a more generalist approach.
13. For me the biggest one is they have hobbies and interests beyond “hanging out with friends and watching Netflix.”
14. Waving green flag is when you go on your first date and end up talking somewhere random for 5-6 hours. It’s typically a great sign you’re either compatible conversationalists, highly interested in one another, or are having a lot of fun being in each other’s company.
15. When she wants to pay her meal. And insists on splitting the bill.
16. Nice driving.
You come to full stops at an intersection? Don’t run any red lights, play conservatively with yellow lights? Treat my life like it matters?
You’re on the right path.
17. Having a funny discussion. The one kind where you defend blue and she defends red. And in the meantime both are walking through a park, a mall, or just being somewhere.
And when both agree going somewhere just for the experience. I really like people trying new stuff and not complaining for so even though they liked it or not.
18. Talking for 5 hours but only thinking the date lasted around 90 minutes.
19. The way your date talks about other people will probably be an indication of how they speak of you, and how they will treat you.
20. Them offering to help pay / picking up the tab. Shows they are willing to invest in you, willing to contribute their earnings to your positive quality of life, and aren’t cheap.
21. The other person genuinely seems out just to have a good time, no expectations.
22. Has a passion and is pursuing it.
Speaks of their family and friends positively.
Has effortless style.
Makes eye contact when listening to you.
Turns their body towards you and mimics your body language.
Shared interests beyond music and sports.
Asks interesting questions and seems to have healthy expectations.
Touches your arm or hand.
Shared sense of humor.
Is easy to communicate with – texting/calling seems fluid and there are no games being played.
23. When you take them home for the first time and your dog loves them immediately/they love your dog immediately.
24. When you aren’t ready to take things to the next level (whether that’s kissing, cuddling, or hooking up) and he not only understands, but doesn’t even make a thing about it.
25. When they can answer the hard questions and they do it honestly. Example: I asked my fiancé how much debt he had. Uncomfortable question, very personal, but for me it was an important conversation to have. He still told me. Then we ended up talking till 3 am, something I had never done with a date.
26. When silence isn’t awkward.
27. On my first date with my current boyfriend, he asked me if he could touch my thigh before he did. Even for such a small thing, consent is sexy.
28. Displays some sort of emotional intelligence.
29. When you both feed off each other, you feel smarter and funnier, the conversation is elevated by you two taking part in it. The opposite of awkward and repetitive mutterings and missteps.
30. Witty banter is oh so attractive.
31. Simple, but, if you don’t have to force a smile while talking to them. The conversation is natural so it makes you smile.
32. When they use commas appropriately.
33. Saying nice, reflective, compassionate things about their ex.
34. Refusing to text you while he knows you’re driving.
35. Kindness. Watch how they treat everyone they interact with – cab driver, waiter, bartender, passers-by. I’ve found that if someone treats people with decency and respect, they’re usually a pretty solid person.
But pay attention. It’s easy to treat the waiter well, because they realize they’re being watched and evaluated. But watch the little interactions as well; those can be more telling.
36. When they say lets go back to mine to play video games, smoke weed and eat pizza.
37. When you mention something that you like and they agree and you just wind up in a conversation where the excitement you both feel just keeps escalating.
That shit just about makes me fall in love in a flash.
38. When she holds the conversation, rather than dissolving into 20 questions.
39. Modesty is sexy. Humility with self-confidence shows a person is comfortable with herself or himself.
40. When a woman accepts a sincere compliment graciously.
41. Comfortable moments of brief silence and being able to have fun doing nothing or just talking. Then you know its who your with not what you are doing.
42. When they DON’T immediately treat you like human garbage just because they’ve had negative experiences with people of your gender. Shows maturity, respect and intelligence.
43. Not restating overdone topics is a sign of originality.
44. When you never run out common interests to talk about
When time it seems like time flies but the actual date last way longer than you thought.
You don’t feel a sense of guilt, inattentiveness, boredom, or have a hard time focusing.
45. Laughs when things go wrong. Life is full of little fuck ups and you want someone who can handle them with good spirits.
46. Not egotistical/arrogant.
Listens to you talking.
Is polite to waitstaff.
Doesn’t bad mouth exes.
47. The biggest green flag is that you find something to talk about quickly and are actually engaged in the conversation.
If you’re having dinner and make it all the way to the entrée and are still “so….. any siblings?” then the date is pretty much dead.
48. Someone who takes responsibility for planning fun activities and puts in the effort to ask meaningful questions. All small talk at a bar is the worst.
49. When they actually pay attention to what you’re talking about and even make the effort to come back to the topic if interrupted.
50. When you don’t want it to end. My first date with my current girlfriend started as a casual meet up for a coffee but we ended up spending the whole day together because neither of us wanted it to end. On a side note, splitting the bill (or at least offering).