I’m Not The Girl I Used To Be When We First Met

August 12, 2018

Ive changed, mainly because of

Im not going to believe everything you say anymore because Ive heard it all before. Im not going to stay all night waiting for you because I know now that you might not show up.

Im not going to drop everything tobe with you because you always close your door when I knock on it.

Im not going to wonder all day and all night if you love me, Im not going to think it must be me. Ive learned to love myself more and love you less.

The problem is you changed me but its exactly what I needed to become a better person, to become a stronger person and to become a wiser person. A person who doesnt believe your sweet lies.

Im not going to push away other men because theyre not you. Im not going to go out on dates and think of you all the time.

Id be lying if I said youre not on my mind, but youre no longer the only one in it. Id be lying if I said Im over you but I could still see myself with someone else. Someone who could treat me better, someone who is sure about me.

Im not the girl I used to be when we first met, Im not the girl who loved you more than she loved herself.

But the truth is, I like who I am now more, I like who Im becoming, I like how you and I are now both

I like how I dont think youre better than me anymore or that I’mlucky because youre talking to me.

I like how now I can love you for who you are not for who I think you could be.

I like how you can now see who I really am, not the one I pretended to be to impress you.

You changed me when you walked away because you made me realize that no matter how hard I try to keep you, it wont make you stay.

You changed me when you made me feel like I meant nothing to you because it made me realize that it wont matter as long as I mean to myself.

You changed me when you failed to love me so you made me love myself.

The truth is, Im not the girl I used to be when we first met, so dont expect that girl again and I hope youre not the boy you were when we first met.

I hope all these years we spent apart growing up and rediscovering ourselves helped us appreciate each other, helped us appreciate the innocence and the honesty we shared.

I hope these years helped us realize that we both deserve to find the love were looking for even if its not with each other.

Until then, Im warning you that Ive changed, but I promise you Ill still be the girl who loves with all her heart — I just wont give it all away to anyoneanymore, because at the end of the day, it belongs to and it’s aof me

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