It’s Time To Let Yourself Be Loved

February 7, 2019
Hanna Morris

I can tell youre hurting. You close your eyes and relive all the painful memories from your past before you fall asleep. You wake up with negative thoughts roaming purposelessly in your head. You listen to songs on the radio and associate pain with every lyric. You stare at old pictures with emptiness thick and tangible in your chest.

All the heaviness of your past is weighing down on you. You cant quite shake the nervousness in your stomach, sinking slowly like an anchor. You havent quite learned how to forgive others, to forgive yourself. You so desperately want to let go, to move on, to separate yourself from what to embrace what but youre stuck.

Youre not allowing yourself to move from the space youre in. Youre not giving someone the chance to comfort you, touch the places where you are hurting. Youre not letting yourself be lovedby you, by anyone. Youre resisting anything that looks remotely like healing

Why are you so convinced this painful place is where youre meant to be? Why are you so scared to break and rebuild, to truly feel again? Why have you told yourself that youre unworthy of starting over, starting new?

I know you feel tired, mentally and physically. I know the mistakes, the brokenness, the heartache from your past is eating away at you, and no matter what you do, you cant forget. And maybe you dont want to. As strange as it seems, maybe youve carried this baggage for so long, youve forgotten how it feels to be without it, forgot how free and light you could be.

But you dont have to cling to what is only pulling you down.

I know youre scared. Scared of what was. Scared of what could go wrong. Scared of what may happen next. I know youre struggling to walk away, your body so tightly twisted around the past and the pain. I know you feel suffocated, as if youre drowning in all that you cant fix, cant redo, cant erase from your memory.

But this is no way to live, not anymore.

I know it hurts, but its time to let yourself be loved. Stop holding onto what isnt growing youpeople, relationships, memories, what has been lost. Stop telling yourself youre supposed to feel like this, broken and tired. Stop wishing for things that have happened. Stop closing yourself off from the world because of one bad experience, one bad person, one bad sliver of time that is long gone now.

Stop keeping people at arms length, and forgiveness far from your heart. Stop thinking you dont deserve to be light and happy and weightless again.

Its time to let yourself heal.

Its time to stop remembering how you were hurt, and start focusing on how you can get better. Its time to stop wishing for a past relationship, and searching for a new one. Its time to stop beating yourself up over what you cant change, and looking to what you

Its time to stop believing this is a good as it gets, because it will get better.

Let yourself be loved, most importantly by your own heart, and secondly, by the people around you.

Open yourself to relationships, to laughter, to emotion once again. Embrace possibility, embrace people, embrace the potential blessings that could happen when you stop pushing everyone around you away.

Start believing in connections again, real ones that arent looking to break you, but to build you. Start feeding yourself positive energy so that you can forgive and love yourself again.

Let yourself be loved. And opened. And given a chance to face this world again, only this time stronger. This time wiser. This time happier, because that is how you have chosen to be from now on.

Life will hand you obstacles. Life will give you relationships that are impermanent and people who will fail you. Life will give you memories that bring tears to your eyes and emotions that question everything youve ever believed in.

You were meant to love and be loved.
So let yourself.

Marisa Donnelly is a poet and author of the book, , available here.

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