The Truth About ‘Almost Relationships’ (Because I’ve Had More Than A Few)

As someone who dates a lot but never actually ends up in a relationship, I often come across what I like to refer to as the almost relationship. This happens when you meet someone and there is intrigue and attraction. You can tell this isnt going to be a one-date deal. You start to get into a routine. You talk almost every day and see each other a few times a week. It definitely seems like its leading to something and then after a few weeks or a couple of months, it starts to fade. Plenty of times nothing is actually said to end the almost relationship. You just start to talk less and less.

I am the first to admit that the majority of the times my almost boyfriends have turned into someone that I used to know (try reading that without singing, I dare you) is because of me. A huge part of it is my insane fear of commitment. I always think I want to be in a relationship and I genuinely dont want to wind up alone for the rest of my life, but the second I see things starting to get serious, I put an end to it. Ill usually find something about the guy that I dont like. Something that I just cannot put up with so clearly I have to put an end to this whole thing before it gets serious. Most of the time its a completely superficial thing. Its just my way of ending things before they get into territory that scares me.

Twice I have found myself on the other end, and the second time came last night. Let me just say that its a horrible feeling. Its not so much losing the person. Sure I liked the guy but three weeks is a short amount of time. Ill easily be able to get over him and move on. The worst part of these almost relationships ending is the way it makes you feel. This person is just getting to know you. Theyve only seen the preview of you and have already decided that theyve had enough and need to back away as fast as possible. That is a really shitty feeling. It doesnt matter how nice the guy is about it and whatever reason he gives, you will wake up feeling like assballs. At least, assballs is what I felt like this morning when I woke up.

Coming to terms with the ending of an almost relationship is never fun but having been on both sides, I have learned a few things. When someone ends something with you before it even starts, youre going to feel like its all your fault. Clearly there is something wrong with you. And heres the thing, a part of it is you. This person did decide that they dont want to be with you. But it doesnt mean that there is something wrong with you.

Overall, it is all about the other person. There can a million reasons that someone decides they dont want to be in a relationship. There are plenty of guys Ive let go that were great guys and would make great boyfriends. They just werent right with me. Actually, Ive had to deal with the regret of ending an almost relationship prematurely. There is one boy in particular who I always regret ending things with. And there is nothing I can do about it now because hes in a relationship with someone else. See how that works. He was the one who probably felt crappy at the end of our relationship and now hes doing fine and Im pining away.

For anyone dealing with end of an almost relationship, I know it sucks. Its a major blow to your ego and youre going to need a few days to wallow and feel sad. Do it. Complain to your friends all you want. But remember that youre going to move on very quickly. This person wasnt in your life long enough to even make a dent. Moving on will be easy. And you have to realize that there is nothing wrong with you. Think of all the people that you came across, lovely people, who you realized that you didnt want to be with. Were not going to want to date every person we meet. Thered be no fun and excitement if that were the case. One day youre going to find yourself in an almost relationship that will seamlessly flow into an actual relationship. It may just take a little longer than you hoped for. At least, I know its taking a lot longer for me.

About the Author

Leave a Comment:

All fields with “*” are required

Leave a Comment:

All fields with “*” are required