What You Need To Know About Girls Raised In The South (Also Known As, GRITS)

September 12, 2018

No matter where you take us, well be the best dressed in attendance. If its the Kentucky Derby, well have the most spectacular Southern Belle hat at Churchill Downs. If its tailgating, since football season means high fashion, well rock the perfect gameday attire which means a sundress and pearls in the south. If its just the two of us in the bed of your truck on a sweet summer night, well be irresistible in our Johnny Cash t-shirt, our cowboy boots and whats left of those blue jeans. You might have to wait a few extra minutes for us to finish getting ready but we believe its better to arrive late than to arrive ugly. You wont catch us looking like we just got off the Hot Mess Express!

With that said, you should know that we were raised to wear our clothes tight enough to show were a woman but loose enough to show were a lady. We are well polished and our taste is refined. We dont do tacky. Instead, we dress like every day is National Wear Your Lilly Day. So if you want a girl whose pants are so tight you can see her religion, dont let the door hit-cha where the Good Lord split-cha.

As near and dear as Lilly Pulitzer is to our hearts (God rest her soul), this is the Dirty South and we can rock the boots and the daisy dukes like only a country girl can. But if you do us wrong, well kick you to the curb in our red high heels.

If you take us hunting, dont make fun of our monogrammed 20-gauge Winchester! Well still be turnin them heads in our camouflage and pearls. We know it doesnt matter how still we are, diamond studs arent allowed in the deer stand! (Theres nothing like shotgun shells and Southern belles!)

Yes, what youve heard is true we really were Little Miss something, at some point, in some pageant, somewhere below the Mason Dixon Line. Theres something about a South Carolina beauty queen thatll have you tryin to pour a little sugar in our Dixie cup.

Were only helpless when our finger nails are wet and even then, we could still pull a trigger if we had to.

Losing a game of Cornhole is reason enough for having our lips poked out from here to Jesus for a few minutes.

We wink at everybody so dont get your feathers all ruffled.

Were tired of fast moves. (You can learn a lot from Conway Twitty.)

If you dont open our door, were not getting in that truck.

Youll be amazed what the arch of a Southern girls eyebrow will make a man do.

We mind our manners. We say sir and maam and please and thank you. And when we say the blessing, we expect you to take your hat off.

Our accent will render you defenseless. A man will fall all over himself when a woman puts a little south in her mouth!

But yall have some ammunition too. All it takes to make us melt is a kiss on the forehead from a boy in a bow tie.

Were lil firecrackers and you better stay away when we get mad. Cause we can make your world fall apart and when we love, we love with all our heart. But well always forgive you and you can be redeemed from most of your transgressions with a David Yurman box or a weekend in Hilton Head or Tybee Island. If not, you done messed up! You better pack up your shit and get gone!

We know 101 ways to use a Mason jar. We put everything in em – from our sweet tea to our vintage buttons to the flowers you bring us. And when we have kids, thats what theyll put their lightnin bugs in someday.

There are some things a lady just doesnt talk about especially if they involve hay bales, a tractor and some moonshine! But rock my world, little country girl is a tribute to us. So let your imagination run wild with that.

We wanna love like Johnny and June.

We dont care who you are, how much money you have, how big your boat is, if we forget how to walk when you take your shirt off or which SEC football team you were on it takes a whole lot more than some lazy text messages to get our attention. If you cant do better than that, well just swipe and delete.

If you want us to marry you (and you got our Daddys permission) and your last name is not compatible with our monogram, just know that were gonna have to buy ALL. NEW. EVERYTHING.

And for the love of all things holy – if you manage to hit the jackpot with a Carolina girl, sweet Southern pearl dont be dumb enough to cheat on us. Didnt your Mama teach you that you cant ride two horses with one ass? The world is full of guys who would fight Hell and half of Georgia for a Southern girls honor. If you dont appreciate what you have, youll learn the hard way to appreciate what you had.

You get what you pay for and Im not talking about money. Im talking about what no amount of money can buy. A Southern girl is like a diamond in a rhinestone world. When you find something precious and rare, you value it and you take care of it. If you throw it away like its trash, be prepared for it to become another mans treasure.

She dont just rain, she pours. That girl right theres the perfect storm.

So fellas, if you love a Southern girl, raise your glass. If not, raise your standards.

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