The Hardest Part Of Losing Someone Is Losing What Could Have Been

January 27, 2020
Cataloged in Romance

The Hardest Part Of Losing Someone Is Losing What Could Have Been

Sometimes the hardest part of losing someone is losing the possibilities…losing the chances of what could’ve been. It’s one thing letting go of what was. Of saying goodbye. Of letting stories become memories. And that alone is heartbreaking. But then you add on the grief of wondering what would have happened if they were still here with you. You wonder how life would go in the future if they were still with you. You wonder what moments and love you could have shared if you had gone on to conquer this world together.

But truth be told, you can hold onto the memories, but you can’t truly hold on to the future. You can’t hold onto what might have been because it never was and it never will be. And losing the chances of the future is heartbreaking. Losing the chance of making new memories is terrifying.

One day you had a whole future planned out with someone. You had a whole life to live together. You had endless possibilities just waiting for you. Thousands of perfect, deep conversations, and millions of beautiful little adventures. You had the hope for many more perfect moments. You had time. You had a shared future, open, like a blank white canvas, just ready to be painted.

And then one day, one moment, it was all gone. The hopes, the possibilities, the lovely moments that the future had in store for the two of you have washed away as if they had never existed. And at that moment, you couldn’t even begin to wrap your mind around the grief you were feeling. And even now, you still can’t fathom the loss you are feeling in your heart.

The part that really messes with you is the fact that you are never going to know what would’ve happened or what could’ve been. No matter how many times you replay the ending, nothing changes. Your future together doesn’t magically return. Your person doesn’t come back, no matter how many hours you spend hoping.

You can’t fix it. Life doesn’t always go according to the plan. So your only option is to just settle with what you had. Eventually, you’ll have to make peace with knowing that your story together ended. You’ll have to let go of the “what ifs” of the future.

And it’s going to hurt a lot. It’s going to punch you over and over again. You’re going to cry every single day. But through all the tears and all of the grief, you’ll realize that what you had was something so special. Something that you will hold onto as you move forward on your own. Something that will always be with you, even if the person is not.

And one day, it’ll get easier. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not next month. But one day you will see that what you had was beautiful, and you’ll be able to make peace with the ending of your story together.

And then finally, little by little, your heart will open up to all of the possibilities that still exist for you. Your mind will open up to the idea that magic and love and perfect moments are still out waiting for you. You will finally understand that even though your heart is aching now, it won’t ache forever. And once you understand this, you’ll see the gentle ways in which the world is still on your side. You’ll accept the possibility that despite the hurt, despite the pain, life can still be good.

Image Credit: God & Man

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Colleen George

A small girl with a million thoughts.


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